hello, I'm Zorine Te. I work hard to quietly deliver the best content in video games.

Let’s face it – sometimes, you are just not in the mood to read a three page review.

Nice deck chairs.

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The Game…

Dead or Alive: Paradise is not a fighting game. It is everything that the advertorials, screenshots, and all the smirking players are saying it is; albeit, boobs and fan service at its finest. The developers really didn’t beat around the bush for this title (pun!).

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It looks…

Pretty nice on the PSP. The various beach themed environments are nice on the eye but aren’t terribly detailed. I doubt most players would be looking at the beaches themselves, however, so they serve their purpose well enough in the backdrop.

I was prepared for typical DOA ‘physics’ but this time I wasn’t prepared for how over the top it was.

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It sounds…

Doable. I messed around with both English and Japanese dubs, both of which are okay on the ears. The music is tolerable enough but again, I wasn’t expecting an Uematsu standard soundtrack. Just simple, happy beats to keep the game flowing.

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It plays…

The moment we’ve been waiting for – gameplay. I’ve seen a lot of people asking around on the boards what exactly this game is about, so I’ll do my best to paint it out. Basically you choose to play as one of the Dead or Alive girls who is holidaying on this tropical island for a fortnight. On the island you can play mini games to earn money, which you spend on buying gifts to build better relationships with other girls, or buy new swim suits. Mini games consist mainly of casino styled games such as the pokies, black jack and poker.

You can take photos of characters as they pose suggestively (and scantily clad, depending on which costume you choose for them) on the beach and view them later on your PSP.

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It lasts…

Confession time. I got addicted to poker. It kept me going for about a week. Other then that I don’t see the point in collecting all possible video clips of the girls doing various things on the beach/in the water/by the pool, or taking snaps of them for the sake of taking snaps of them.

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Final notes

Dead or Alive: Paradise wasn’t disappointing because I honestly didn’t expect much in the first place. It’s exactly what you expect to be – unless you expected an all out adult game. Sorry, but taking photos is as far as it goes.

Make use of EB Games’ seven day return policy.

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